Ad Astra Per Aspera, Paul

I miss you Paul. I don't think about you every day... but I do whenever something reminds me of all the times we spent together. It didn't hit me that hard when you passed away. I didn't sob uncontrollably. Not on the day you passed, nor on your funeral. I tried my best to be strong and stay composed and deliver a meaningful eulogy that best represented you. It wasn't until weeks later that I was driving home from a dental checkup and Nujabes' Luv Sic Pt. 4 began to play, that all the emotions hit me. That song brought back so many memories, most of all, how we used to rap it together when times were tough in our lives. Though I regret not making things better with you before you passed, I still believe you're in a better place. The fact that you accepted Jesus the year before you passed is a true testimony of God's love. No matter how much I wish things never turned out this way, or how much I wish you could have just changed, things are the way they are. The older I get the more I realize that this IS life, and there is not much we can do to change it. Bad things happen, and the best we can do is just deal with it and make something positive out of it. I will try my best to never take people for granted. I still treat people like shit, Paul. I can preach the Golden Rule but I still can't apply it. But when you passed, it was a cold hard slap in the face to change my ways. I'll try to be more patient with people, especially the ones that I care about. I'll try to treat everyone like it is the last day I'll ever see them. It's easier said than done, but you are my inspiration, because that is how you always treated others. I love you Paul, you're my brother forever. Since we're not going to grow up together, I'm just really thankful that we spent so much damn time together in high school. Wo Ai Ni, Paul. Shong Di til I die, No Money No Business, LNHC, most importantly, Doshteh? To the highest stars, through difficult times.